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lyrics

The following events took place over a 6 month period in 2012.

I was eating dinner when my Mom causually mentions she heard some sad news. She asked if I knew Alex. I did know Alex, and panicked because my mom spoke in past tense. Turns out she had just died in a car accident. I found someone on the internet to talk to about what I was going through, for emotional support. We started dating, and over time she became my emotional support for everything. One day I get a message from a friend, and learn that something went wrong with her father's surgery. I spent the next few days at the hospital with them until he died. Soon after this my dad had open heart surgery. This scared the hell out of me, but he did live. After the surgery, I took care of him as he recovered from all the drugs they gave him for surgery. He spent weeks in some kind of haze. He was unmanageable, aggressive, and scary. Then I had to deal with 2 more deaths. One from cancer, and the other died in her sleep from unknown causes.
It was around this time I started to come to terms with being transgender. My girlfriend was the only one that ever helped me feel feminine. Calling me her girlfriend, telling me I was pretty. It made me feel wonderful. She was all I had, and then out of nowhere she broke up with me one day. I was screaming and crying "please don't." I had nothing any more. I then started to get death threats. Messages, phone calls. I called the police, but they said there was nothing they could do.

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from we're all so lonely and miserable, released June 28, 2016
Lyrics and production by Aurelia.

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Aurelia Rocky Mount, North Carolina

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