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An Open Letter to my Addiction (feat. Ian​-​Andrew Hamish Cutler)

from we're all so lonely and miserable by Aurelia

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lyrics

Dear Self-harm, we were good together. We were a balancing act on a razor wire tightrope. I bled from my feet but you made me keep going until I either got to the other side or fell off the edge. You wanted to make me famous. A side show attraction that everyone could gawk at. I was a bearded lady or lobster clawed man but you didn't care. You loved me just as I was...broken. The first time I lied for you, I attempted to put make up on fresh wounds. Told my mom and dad that I'd been playing a little too roughly with the cat and I hid behind the suspension of a balancing act. The first time I acted on your suggestions, I had to promise myself that it was for my own good. Had to convince myself that no one would ever know. But, I knew. And as the guilt grew and grew I knew I'd have to release myself from this suspension of disbelief. I had come to believe that nothing was wrong with me. And proving myself wrong hurt more than blades ever could so, once more, I hid behind sequined sleeves. Turned my face to the spotlight. Smiled to the audience and realized that I couldn't take the bleeding feet anymore and I jumped off the edge.

credits

from we're all so lonely and miserable, released June 28, 2016
Lyrics and vocals by Ian-Andrew Hamish Cutler.
Production by Aurelia.

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Aurelia Rocky Mount, North Carolina

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